Archive for November, 2015

Cricket

Posted in Humor with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 6, 2015 by Forrest Pasky

I rolled out of bed to the sound of my alarm clock, put on my exoskeleton, and went to work.
Bob: How’s it going Cricket.
Me: Chirp!
Bob: Well, at least somebody got laid last night.
Cheryl: Hi Cricket. Any plans for the weekend?
Me: Chirp!
Cheryl: Well, if you’re going to climb Mount Everest can you bring me back a Dali Lama key chain?
Me: Chirp!
Boss: Hey, Cricket I have problem maybe you can help me with… I don’t know whether to promote myself or kill myself.
Me: Chirp!
Boss: Great idea. I will do both.
Me: Chirp! Chirp!
Boss: You’re right that will save the company monkey. I’ll start first with killing myself.
Later that day at the boss’s funeral…
Dave: What a shame I hear he was up for a promotion.
Me: Chirp!
Dave: Thanks Cricket you always know just the right thing to say.
Why yes, I have lost weight.

9 Pregnant Women

Posted in Humor with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 5, 2015 by Forrest Pasky

I work in technology.

It’s always great when one particular very high level manager…Big Boss…

(who thinks he is smartest guy in room) comes to meeting completely oblivious

to fact that everyone is killing themselves to deliver a technology

and makes a comment like:

“We are going to have to speed up the devilery of this technology.”

Leader of technology development (who is smartest guy in room):

“Well, I guess we could hire 9 pregnant women.”

The implication being….9 pregnant women will allow us to have this baby in one month.

Big Boss: Do we have the open reqs for the 9 pregnant women?