Archive for September, 2015

Self-Worth

Posted in Humor with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 19, 2015 by Forrest Pasky

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Speaker:

A good way to improve your feeling of self-worth is by putting others down.

It’s also helpful to mention how bloated and ugly they have become.

Referring to everyone as: “Hey stupid” can brighten your day as killing everyone is illegal.

Be sure to roll your eyes a lot and sigh heavily to let people know you are superior to them.

 

Me: Wow. How do you know all of this?

 

Speaker: “I’m the boss.”

 

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Business Quote of the Week

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 15, 2015 by Forrest Pasky

Google: These driver-less cars are fantastic. We’ll be able to put Uber out of business.

Do You Hear Voices?

Posted in Humor with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 13, 2015 by Forrest Pasky

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Dr: Do you hear voices?

Me: Sure. How else would I know that my cat wants me to feed her?

 

Dr: We’re upping your medication.

Me: Chewable children’s vitamins?

 

Dr: If it helps you to believe that.

Me: I want a balloon.

 

Dr: Later. Tell me about your childhood.

Me: I was raised by wolves.

 

Dr: Those were orderlies at the boy’s home.

Me: Why am I being restrained against my will?

 

Dr: That’s a belt. It’s holding up your pants.

 

Me: If I’m deemed crazy will I get to miss work.

Dr: No, you’ll be promoted to boss.

 

Me: Where’s my balloon?