Archive for September, 2013

Me and My Charlie Chaplin Moustachexx

Posted in Humor with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 7, 2013 by Forrest Pasky

hitler1

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Sometimes you have to blurt out something completely stupid in a business meeting ,

because one way corporate America currently evaluates how good an employee you are

and what your potential is…is by how LOUD you are!

Example: “It’s a real game changer!!!”

Means nothing. Sounds decisive and like you know what you are talking about.

You should probably be in charge.

Anyway, after living many years as a hermit in a cave.  (OK, my mother’s house…)

I emerged with a beard down to my knees and not having bathed for several years.

I wanted to get a quick read on what would make me successful in today’s corporate world,

so I went to a Charlie Chaplin Film Festival.  Everyone loved this guy. He said nothing, but his actions

spoke for themselves. At that point I decided to get a Charlie Chaplin “make-over.”

I went down to the barber shop and had them cut my hair and shave off all my beard,

except for leaving the Charlie Chaplin moustache.

The next day on the way to work a group of nuns flipped me off, two cops eating donuts took a break long

enough to spit on me, several school children per the instruction of their teacher urinated on me.

Hmmm.

On the bus, I encountered much of the same behavior. The guy who had been collecting his dog poop in a little plastic bag,

as was require by law, tripped. I was glad that I was able to prevent his fall by allowing my face to provide a firm place to

stabilize himself, with his dog-poop, laden hand.

At work I encountered much of the same behavior.

Steve accidentally tripped a spilled his coffee on me. (As well as his plastic bag of dog poop.)

Cynthia inadvertently poured a pot of coffee over my head. (I was glad she did not own a dog!)

After a lunch, in which HR, proclaimed “Piñata initiation!!!” and proceeded to hit me with a baseball bat for an hour,

I returned to my desk.

Then, my boss walked in.

I immediately understood where all the “hostility” and “hatred”….”unquenchable hatred”… had come from,

as he too had a Charlie Chaplin moustache.

And finally my boss spoke: “Please welcome….some guy….as our new employee…it’s a real game changer!!!”

Cynthia nodded.

evilboss

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